Ohayocon Summary

Your write-up report is buffering, please be patient.

TL;DR VERSION:

• SO MANY PONIES
• We got interviewed by The Daily Oat. Check it out!
• Pillows are eight feet in the air
• We won the convention and got our own panel room
• Tony Stark is an awesome brony
• Cider cider cider cider
• The Pony Panel was underwhelming
• Browse the photo gallery
• Fezzes are cool

Since a lot of people asked where and when they can get Darkly Cute's metal pins: pre-orders for the next batch will be up soon. Keep a watch on this blog, as there will be a post here some time this week. Meanwhile, the pin shop is here.

Also: somepony left a coat in the panel room Saturday night. If it's yours, email Starshine with a description of it, and we will make sure you get it back. Update - resolved!

There is just way too much stuff to cram it all into one post here, so keep watching for more. If you have more photos (or even video clips!) send them to us so we can add them to the gallery and possibly feature them in a media post later this week.

Friday:
Once we checked into the hotel, we went down the elevator where we met our first cosplayers: a couple of ninjas and a Stormtrooper being molested by Eureka. We made our way through the walkways and hallways to find the registration line, got our badges, and took a walk around to familiarize ourselves with the floor plan (which had changed from last year's Ohayocon, throwing Darkly Cute off and stressing her out). In a remote part of the convention center we found our first pony cosplayer: a crazy-excited Pinkie Pie with a cupcake, who upon meeting us started jumping up and down yelling about how awesome it was that we could come to her party. As it turns out, this was a sign of the fun times we would have over the weekend, because as everypony knows, Pinkie Pie throws the best parties. Shortly later we learned that another group of people had already organized a pony meetup at 5 PM. We meandered over to the Dealers Room which was a veritable Everfree Forest of congestion as people were arriving at the con and scoping everything out. There were a lot of dealers and plenty of goodies for both fillies and colts but soon time came for the first of many brony photoshoots and we quickly went to the assigned area to see our fellow fines in all their finery.

I really like her mane!

Most of the pony cosplay was squarely focused on the mane six but some of the background ponies got a fair amount of love, especially Vinyl Scratch. Two young girls came dressed as ponies, one as Apple Bloom and the other as a filly Pinkie Pie. THEY WERE THE MOST ADORABLE FILLIES YOU WILL EVER SEE! Everypony started cheering and clapping when Apple Bloom appeared out of NOWHERE at the photo shoot. Of course she was very shy about it. All was not well in the land of Equestria as several Discords and a Nightmare Moon made their appearance felt, only to be contained by the couple of Celestias also in attendance. The epic battle of "da magicks" resulted in some terrible fallout as a Big Mac struggled valiantly to hold on to his precious Smartypants doll before it was (and it was!) ripped from his grasp and then apart by the ravenous mob of enchanted Bronies. Luckily enough there was a seamstress with thread nearby and Smartypants was fully repaired before the Big Mac left for greener pastures.

At the 8 PM meetup we met someone who asked us if we wanted to hang out with their local meetup group... in Springfield. Apparently there is this parallel-world pony house right around here. (Hi, guys!) Of course, we also talked to a ton of people from all over the state, as well as a number of people from Indiana, a good-sized group of Pittsburgh bronies, and a few strays who traveled to the convention from as far away as Washington. We also talked to a couple of Team Fortress 2 engineers and scouts, as well a few Doctor Who and Homestuck cosplayers, GLaDOS, and even a rather freaky-looking Pyramid Head.

Kilt met a willing challenger in the guise of one known as "Pedobear" for a molest-a-thon. It was a heated battle of rubbing, groping, and molestation; but Kilt triumphed and proved that not even Pedobear can stop a man in a kilt... even when he’s not wearing his kilt. We attempted to go to the Hyatt bar for a while but got scared by all the so many much people and noises, and left for the Crowne Plaza bar instead. Hardly anyone was there, which we later found out was because drinks were stupidly expensive (although we would find out the next night that the Hyatt bar was only very slightly cheaper), but we hung out for an hour or so and chatted.

Saturday:
We just barely got up in time to watch the episode, right at 10:00. Initially we were thinking that we wouldn't be able to get it playing in time to catch the intro, but Edinpony got his laptop hooked up just barely in time for the start of The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. OUR FACES WHEN it outshined last week's episode. From this point on, we were continually chanting "cider, cider, cider." We kept watching through most of the 10:30 rerun of Baby Cakes, until Basil had to shut off the stream, and then we laid there lazily until Kilt barged in demanding a party. Eventually somepony remembered that we were supposed to be holding a meetup at 1:00, and we managed to unlazy and get ourselves to the big stairs. Not a lot of ponies showed up, and all we really did at this one was hang out at the stairs and chat a bunch. Still some good fun just getting to know some of the bronies who had yet to learn about our large and extensive group.

In the early evening we went back to the room for a break, where we experienced many first-world problems, like having free internet that took forever to load even the shortest of YouTube videos. These first-world problems gave birth to the greatest OC to ever be born: Buffershy!

When we came to the stairs for the 8 PM meetup, we found a staffer telling everyone who attempted to sit down or even stand that they had to get off the stairs. We tried to stand off to the side and were shoved into one corner, up the stairs, and then back down again before we finally settled down near the tables at the bottom of the stairs. This might have had something to do with the fact that we had three separate Discords as well as a Kilt (Loki) causing all the chaos they could summon forth. Then began a saga of trying to find all the components needed in order to watch the episode: speakers, a projector, and SEVERAL laptops, one which even saw Photo Finish and an intrepid TF2 Engineer going several blocks into enemy territory. Meanwhile Kilt, Starshine, and eventually Darkly Cute were tracked down by the Daily Oat for interviews.

Thank you, President
Warren G. Harding.

We finally herded everypony all the way across the building, where we had a huge area with a wall we could project the episode onto — until we were told that we were blocking a service elevator (and apparently even lining up single file was too much). Sensing our spirits were sagging, Walking Party began an epic rendition of "Winter Wrap-Up" that soon had everypony joining in! Our reverie only being shattered by word from on high (or the brony convention staff) THAT WE HAD A ROOM! Through the magic of friendship permanent marker, the gaming room was scribbled out of existence and the PONY ROOM was born! Once inside, Brian/lava (a very helpful brony) hooked their laptop to the projector and we were off to the Cider Party! Walking Party was kind enough to supply his speaker vest. Unfortunately, since Derpy's Law was in effect*, they derped out halfway through the episode as he had been running down the battery all day. The laptop speakers took over and successfully got us through the rest of the episode. When it was over, the lesson we learned (sorry, Applejack) was that the best way to watch My Little Pony is with as many bronies as you can possibly cram into a room.

Visible at lower left: Pinkie Pie's
Party Pack and the Pony Projector

Later that night we went to the Hyatt bar, now that we had a day to prepare our bodies for it. We hung out with Darkly Cute's old convention staff friends for a while, danced with a gigantic Master Shake (no seriously, he was about eight feet in the air tall) and got brohoofs from Tony Stark.

The merriment continued LONG into the night until everyone realized they were hungry. This would've been a fairly substantial problem if word hadn't filtered back that Subway was still open for business! It was the lone oasis of meat and bread amidst a veritable ghost town of shuttered restaurants. (Imagine our disappointment when we found that we could not get Authentic Indian Cuisine from the All American restaurant! "Mmmm, Indian burgers.") The line was positively massive but we entertained ourselves by discussing childhood traumas and getting molested by Kilt. ("It's what I do.") Once we made it to the ordering counter we were again touched... but this time by generosity as Starshine remembered he had a Subway gift card that he offered up for all bronies to use until it was exhausted, which happened to be a very awesome 25 dollars later. We retired to a nearby table to replenish our energy and ran into the only person at the convention who had actually read the program to know the theme of Ohayocon 2012 was "Space" and not "Dress As Your Favorite Pony and/or Homestuck Character"). They chose to do this by donning an adult-sized onesie with many space-related patterns, but beggars can't be choosers.

The long walk back to the hotel through the (unheated) skyways made us realize Mr. Space Onesie was likely mocking our lack of foresight as we had to merge into a pony centipede to conserve enough body heat to make it back to our Hotel room. Our intent was to obtain as much sleep as physically possible in anticipation of the Pony Panel that no one knew anything about which would take place the following morning. We instead spent a good hour and a half developing more in-jokes than you can shake a Zap Apple at. Our phones were just as irresponsible as incoming text messages informed us about "can't miss" work-from-home opportunities and mortgage rates at twelve-year lows. This news elated our pillows so much they rose eight feet in the air.

Hotel antics continued as the Kilted one held a party in the closet with an ironing board. (Or on it? The world may never know.) [Kilt says: That was one of the smallest closets I've ever seen but I still managed to lay down in it and still be able to shut the door. Now I know how Fry felt when he shacked up with Bender.] – For those of you that aren't aware, Kilt is 6'3" and is built like a fridge, so the fact that he can fit into such a small space is rather impressive.

Sunday:

Winter Wrap-Up singalong
at the Pony Panel

Fluttershy hacked Starshine’s phone in order to wake us up at the crack of 8:30 so we could get to the panel. Despite talking to hundreds of bronies all weekend, we still had no idea who was running it, and were joking that there was half a chance it was actually a 4chan anti-brony prank to lock us in the room. (Fortunately, we were on top of things and had a contingency plan for this.) We barely got ourselves out of bed after the shenanigans the night before. Trippy Glitters and PartyCrash stayed at the hotel but the rest of us managed to make it to the panel.

The Ohio Bronies decide
what to eat for lunch

We all lined up outside as the panel staff tried to get their presentation in working order. Time was ticking away but the doors finally opened a little after the scheduled start time and we took our seats. We were presented with a large projector screen that was showing a few of the more adult MLP memes and the staff continued to feverishly work on what they wanted to show us. It turned out the panel was mostly Equestria Online Developers and they had a rough pre-alpha build to show us. Technical difficulties continued to arise as passwords weren't working, usernames were not accepted, servers weren't operating, and internets were down. After some small talk, things finally came together enough to give us a fleeting glimpse of Equestria Online before a final cataclysmic crash prompted an audience member to lend his laptop queued up with Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000. Another fan and another laptop later, the audience settled in to watch it before the panel wrapped up with what was probably the sixth or seventh rendition of "Winter Wrap-Up" over the weekend. Everypony moved out of the panel room and mingled in the open area for a long time afterward. We passed out Peanut Bucker pins and yet more Ohio Bronies business cards, and chatted with so many bronies. Then we took another trip into the Dealers Room and Artists Alley, which were both far less crowded and insane than they were at 2 PM on Friday.

Afterward we realized that it was noon, we were hungry, and the only solution was FOOD! We went back to the hotel room, packed everything up, checked out, and went to Polaris to the Mellow Mushroom, where we again claimed the same huge table we had during the November meet. It took about an hour to get everypony there, but when we finally were all in one place and got our food, it was delicious. Next we went to Toys"R"Us in search of ponies. Too bad every other brony at the convention had already done that, leaving nothing but a giant terrifying wall of talking baby Pinkie Pies. We ventured outside the pony aisle, amused ourselves with BATTEN FLAVONED POPCORN and various other items that sort of resembled food. Oh how much fun we had with the McDonald’s "food" toys.

Spike and
Twilight Sparkle

Photo Finish
and Fluttershy

Cool cosplayers:
(In no particular order, of course)

• Pinkie Pie with meat cleaver earrings and cupcake-pan necklace
• Twilight Sparkle with her very own copy of The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide
• Derpy (complete with muffin!) and Discord (complete with chaos!) – word to your mother
• Nightmare Moon in her glorious formal attire being attended by a rather striking Fluttershy
• Trippy Glitters as best Flutter/Drunker/Mushroomshy enjoying her times spent with all the ponies.
• DashAttack as Vinyl Scratch, complete with red contacts
• Another Vinyl Scratch with LED-emblazoned gloves
• MrBlud as Photo Finish
• A rather rude (in an entertaining/comedic way!) Discord running around with a tablet (which, he was kind enough to point out, was an Android and not an iPad) – making everyone remember an old meme regarding some form of sportsman-like conduct.
• Too many cosplays to keep track of! If we forgot you, please understand that there were TONS of you ponies.

Overall, this entire weekend was a blast. We got to meet lots of new people who were great fun to hang out with, and we are looking forward to seeing all of you again at future meetups. Thank you all!

— Starshine, Kilt, and MrBlud

* Derpy's Law is like Murphy's Law, except it has been greatly derped.